Did you ever do something just really stupid and you look back on it and you think, “What in the world was I thinking?” I’ve had that experience lately.
Afterwards, you can get so focused on the wrong and so wrapped up in guilt and frustration that you lose sight of the God who loves you more than anything. You dwell on your stupidity and not on His love. You struggle with forgiving yourself.
Equate this to a large river. It flows free and strong and is available to all who come to it. The river is like God’s free and available love for us and what you are currently doing is building a dam. God still wants to reach you but it is you who are stopping him.
We’ve all messed up and made mistakes. We all need forgiveness. We are all unworthy of the saving grace of Jesus. Yet, he took our sin on him when he died on the cross. Our filthiness (and stupidity) have been covered with his blood.
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
If you seem to be focusing on how you don’t deserve God’s love and mercy more than focusing on what amazing love he offers you, stop building your dam and start letting the water flow freely. Let it come over you and wash you. It’s not about what you’ve done wrong or how unworthy you (and I) are, it’s about what Jesus did for us on the cross.