I have been working long hard days this year. Most have been 10 – 12 hour days and lots of nights and weekends. I’m exhausted but that is what is required for me to do a good job at my work. Now we are working a man short and so instead of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, all I see is more long nights and weeks. I am frustrated. I am tired. I can’t keep going …
I searched my life for things I could eliminate in order to make more space. I needed to find some relief. I know my decision is not a good one for the long term but for the short term, it is what it is. I quit church choir. I love to sing and choir is usually an enjoyable time for me. However, practices are at 4:45 on Sunday afternoons. I would get home from church, change clothes, eat lunch, do dishes, and it was time to go back to church. I had to make some free time in my life. Now I am taking Sunday nights for some “me” time. Is that selfish? Time to read a book or take a nap. Time to catch my breath before starting the next hard week.
I know that I need to be involved in ministry and I know that I am not currently doing much – outside of working with my students at school. My quitting was not because I had my feelings hurt. Quitting was not because I was mad. I am not quitting church, just the choir.
Is this a lack of commitment on my part or is it just necessary for my survival? Am I justified in this decision or am I letting others down who were counting on me?
I am still committed to the Lord and I am still committed to my church. I just need a break for a while. Am I taking the easy way out? Why do I feel guilty?