Fight

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I got to be a referee today between two staff members that I manage. There was a problem – I saw it as minor. It was a simple misunderstanding and we should have been able to resolve it easily. One person came into the meeting and started by verbally attacking the other. Of course the second person yelled back. I tried the best I could to just calm everyone down. It didn’t matter whose fault it was – and I didn’t think it was anyone’s fault, just a situation that occurred. The only thing I wanted was to talk and come up with a solution. What does blame and anger really solve? Neither one intentionally set out to hurt the other. It was all a matter of timing, circumstances, and a lack of knowledge about the situation.

James 1:19 -20 says “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

Try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Look at the situation the way he does. Listen to each other – really listen and think first. Then formulate something worthwhile to say. If it isn’t going to help the situation, then stay quiet.

I think it is OK to get angry – Jesus got angry. Remember when he overturned the money changers tables in the tabernacle. (Matthew 21:12-13) It is how we handle our anger that matters. Sometimes it is our anger that handles us – it controls us and gets us into trouble.

Ephesians 4:26 says “In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” and then it goes on in verse 29 and says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” This was not what happened in my meeting. Once the yelling started, it went on back and forth for close to 30 minutes. Nothing was accomplished by the yelling. The problem wasn’t solved and no one felt better.

Paul goes on in that same chapter to say, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” If anyone had a right to be mad, it would have been Jesus. After all, why was he crucified – for our sin. He didn’t deserve it. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He never put the blame on us. He never attacked us. All he did was love us so much, he died for us.


Proverbs 29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

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